My Next Boyfriend Will Be Young

I have been very fortunate to have pretty consistent relationships for most of my adult life. For a lot of people, this is either problematic or a point of envy. For me, I just walk into spaces, connect with people and wrap them up in a bow and love them like my new pet. 

What about your friends?

Photo obained from Facebook.

Gemmel Moore. Allow me to speak his name once more. Gemmel Moore. Now before I say anything more. First, I'd like to express my sincere condolences to him and his family. Second, fuck you okay? Here's why. On July 27th the man whose name I speak up died of something that is far too common in the gay black community: Drug overdoses.  When I first heard the news of this man's passing, I like many started to mourn his life.

Usher is just the next Black Male Scapegoat

Photo obtained from

See, the problem I’m having with those that are shaming Usher is much deeper than the fact that it seemed like I knew how to spell his name out loud long before I had friends. I’ve been riding with Usher since U-S-H-E-R R-A-Y-M-O-N-D; this is a guy who built his career off sex and honest conversations around sex before my mom had given the privilege to me of having the birds and the bees conversation. But it’s much deeper than that.

Is it my Black-ness or my Trans-ness?

Transgender women have been in existence for decades and Black transgender women the same. The number of deaths this year (7) at the cause of being senseless (or very much awake) resonates an alarming awareness because all these victims are women of color. The racial counterparts of Caucasian ethnicity face self-inflicted harm and in most cases according to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey (NTDS), suicide (5% vs 76%).

ThirsTRapper to Pink Elephant

Thirst trapping has always had me on the fence. For me, it was either a cry for attention or an unapologetic public art form of self-love without the cum shot. Either way, it is always fun to watch. Sexuality is so fluid that it is hard to put one in a box of what expressing that looks like because my confines aren't necessarily the next person's box they live in. Hell, who wants to live in a box anyway?

I Think I am Afraid to Love

I had it all in my previous relationship: a man I thought I loved (and thought he loved me), a loving home, a shared car & a our own family with multiple puppies. We treated each other like kings from dinner dates, brunch with his friends, parties, volunteering at different LGBTQ events, & love notes to remind each other how much we love each other. We did everything together when he wasn't working & there would be times we'd do things at his place of work because he worked for our community. 

Dear Black, Gay Men,

I am deeply apologetic about not honoring your brokenness. It has been awhile since I have really set with all that comes with being black and gay. I have accepted your love as a requirement versus a privilege. I have looked at you just as much of a fetish as a white man looking for a big, black cock; not being able to articulate my admiration from your sense of showing up without minimalizing it as a sexual attraction.

Questions as I Bang His Boyfriend

First, I will say sex is an analogy of life. In this article, I am both literally and figuratively talking about sex. So, here goes.

My moral compass has changed drastically. Back in the day, being the other dude was nothing for me. Now, I have an expectation of myself to preserve my karmic energy and exist in a space of peace-- which simply means not knowingly fucking someone's man. 

BackPage Chronicles II: It's is a Cop-Out- Interview with Tyrice Black

Sex working is a glamourized business in the gay and trans communities. I did an article a couple months ago with Dominique Alford that depicted his journey through escorting, but this guy I talked with today had a very interesting experience that resonated with me. His name is Tyrice Black. I have known Tyrice since he was maybe 18 or 19 and he is a cool kid that came from not ever being around gays to being engulfed in the community overnight-- literally. 

I'm Finally Transitioning

This blog post is a part of my ever evolving truth and a small account of my life over the last 12 months.  This is a piece about my budding transition and how I have arrived at this place in my life. I imagine this to be hard to read for some as it will mean the death of the idea they have created of me in their heads. 

A Rapist Perspective

When I think about collective solution, I immediately start off with all the things we have done inside our community to hurt us and some of the sources of pain we encounter. So many times, we shed light on the sources of pain we experience from other communities, but I am forced to examine some of the pain that is self-inflicted and unexposed.